Computers Should Come with IQ-alyzers

[Ghic Chic]

Ever try to help someone with computer issues and not even drawing stick figures seem to help? Try to convey an issue to a "professional" and you some how think nepotism had a role in their tech support position?

Vent your more frustrating experience here. Be it tech support or user, we all have humorous and frustrating stories to share.

[ArsGeek]

I had a very knowledgeable (PhD level +) user who complained that every time they went to open their DVD drive, their computer shut down.  And what was worse, the drive never opened thus trapping a DVD in there forever.
 
Since the user was important and obviously flustered I hurried up to assist.

I got there and pushed the button on the DVD drive which proceeded to slide out revealing the once trapped disc.  The user had a look on their face like I'd just sprouted a third head.

"You mean that's not the eject button?" they asked, pointing to the power button on the case. 

sigh.

[Paul Wood]

Geez, anyone that works in the IT field has a million of these.

One of my users has a post-it note on her mouse that says "mouse".

Another tech here had to drive over 3 hours on a call because their computer was making a strange beeping sound and they couldn't get it to stop. He removed the book from the keyboard.

We have three levels of users: people that have never used a computer before and are scared of them, mid-level worker bees who are pretty handy at a keyboard, and upper level users (Doctors, Executives, etc). The upper level ones are the worst.

[Ghic Chic]

My recent experience was as a user dealing with an application. Due to the job continuously turning into a run away job, I was forced to submit a Help Desk ticket. I SERIOUSLY HATE submitting those as I know I'm always in for something bigger than it should be.

The required job to run requires no parameters- just populating the job name and submitting. I enter the command and that's it. No output files, nothing to see ever. A monkey could enter it. After a day or so of it running, the people who maintain the application terminate the job. The job typically takes 15 minutes to complete (max) and I HAVE to run it. I continued to do such because even when they terminate the job, my side of it completes. Somehow it latches on to another another job and has a joy ride.

Anyway, the first contact I receive is an e-mail requesting more information (I had given them which instance I use the job in, the path, the job name, the date/time, the request ID... all the minor things I see on the user end- there's not much to see). The e-mail requested a screen shot.

I wrote back stating that they terminated the job. There was no screen shot. I went over again the details... and received a reply "Thank you, can you please send a screenshot?"

The turn arounds of these communication was pretty much two days- so far a week had gone by.

The next week I called them (it's an outsourced team in India). The person on the line had no experience in the particular application so all they could do was relay a message for me, "Please stop asking for screenshots- the jobs are terminated, there's nothing to capture"

In the meantime the head people recognize there's an issue and begin working on it. It's being taken care of and I'm not running the job until further notice. I get pinged by someone on the offshore team wanting to assist... and requesting a screenshot.

I tell him that's being looked into by so and so and informed him of the instructions I received in this case. He pings me back and says, "Oh good, can you please send me screenshot?"

I go over it again, "I can't send you a screenshot as there's nothing to capture. The job terminated. No screenshot... please don't say screenshot again!"

"I'm just trying to help."

A few hours later someone else pings me (we use internal instant messaging) The person tells me that in regards to HD Ticket (whatever) they're trying to gather information for me. By now I'm beyond annoyed. "NO SCREENSHOT! The job was terminated and your higher ups are working on it. There's no need to ping me. It's being resolved."

"Well can you tell me what's happening?"

"As I've stated ten times- I enter the information on the line and press submit. There are no parameters to fill, there's nothing else to look at... it runs until someone behind the scenes terminates it. Period. I'm entering it from an interface in which I can't look to see what's going on in the background. If I knew the issue, the cause and the resolve, I wouldn't be requesting help!"

Him "Well I need to help on this..."

Me "So and so is doing the needful."

Him "Ahhhhh okay then, thank you, sorry to bother"

Btw... right after I wrote this, a co-worker pings me as an offshore team is having a problem with the command prompt I just wrote about and asked if I could help...

[ArsGeek]

Could you post a screenshot of this on the forums?

[Ghic Chic]

That was cruel... just plain cruel.

[SamuelDr]

You could've screenshoted an empty command prompt or desktop or an empty something on your computer (whatever your "job" runs on).

But, I sure hope that when I have another job in IT, I won't have ever to directly speak with users... I might be dangerous for their health.

[Ghic Chic]

Well there are always two sides. With the offshore team I've learned to speak their language "Do the needful" "Updatation" etc. Prior to our IT dept. being contracted out we were down for a solid day. The network crashed and no one could figure out why.

At the time I was upstairs working in our call center and I hear a voice coming from the back, "I found the problem... damn it Mike, you tripped over the cord." They plugged it back in and presto, we were back in business.