ArsGeek

This is for all of you out there who have *real* weather and enjoy poking fun at us who live in weather wimp areas.

My area grasps for any kind of weather news. Take today for instance; I woke up early and checked the school website “Closed”. I was confused at this announcement as I merely saw a dusting outside. It almost looked like frost as the pavement was clear, yet there were traces of snow or frost on cars. Certainly nothing that could shut down an entire school district which caused me to stay home from work today. It had to be worse elsewhere. It just had to.

Pictured is what I took as soon as the sun finally rose above the horizon around 7:15 am (PST), literally shedding light on the situation.

I turned on the news and a female reporter moved her foot across half an inch of snow “As you can see, if I move the snow around, it could almost act like ice, which could be very dangerous in traffic” And behind her the road itself had nothing on it and people were driving as normal. She looked at the vehicles who moving along like “business as usual” and commented, “Thankfully I’m in an area where people are driving with more caution than normal.”

Read more and see the zombies!

As the day progressed, what little frost was on the ground soon melted away as the sun broke through the clouds (OH NO!!! FIERY ORB!). It seemed like a typical non-eventful January day, yet the captions still read on the new sites “January Storm 08″

“Snow and ice make travelling a challenge in the valley.

Numerous snow-related car crashes are occurring in the Salem-Keizer area, police dispatchers said.

Nearly every on-duty Oregon State Police trooper is at the scene of an accident at this time, state police dispatchers said.

An Oregon Department of Transportation dispatcher said that conditions are “blown open” with crashes in many locations.

The dispatchers said there have not been any serious injury crashes, but several rollovers.

Morning commuters should slow down and drive safely, or delay their trip to work until later.” <-Just so you know, that was in a remote location, they changed it from the one they had earlier which was quite laughable and I guess didn’t capture the treacherous weather hazards they were trying to convey. I’m curious how long it took to shuffle through photos before they found this one.

As I sat in disbelief of the entire situation and trying to find logic in the closures, I decided to put a spin on the situation. This is what *really* happened in Salem Oregon this morning:

Zombies, Zombies, EVERYWHERE

“Schools are closed today due to an uprising of the undead. Local authorities are unclear how this army came to be as no mysterious forces have been detected as of late. Many families are being turned as we speak, so we ask each of you to barricade yourself indoors if you were not able to make it out of town in time. This new genetically mutated batch of the undead are quite faster than your a-typical zombies and also know how to drive automatic transmission vehicles. It is also rumored that a few are able to take the transit system.

To make matters worse, should you try to escape the infected areas, weather reports indicate partly sunny skies later in the day.”

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