ArsGeek

In my superhero writings I noticed that I had over looked a very important part of the population- the super villain.

The super villain is the most interesting, humorous and inventive piece of the hero/villain relationship. One that is overlooked and under appreciated.

I scoured the web for some decent homage to the villain but I came up short. Everything is devoted to the hero and it felt a little unfair!

I tried to track down some super villains to get their take on all the praise and tribute to the heroes but I came up empty handed. I guess I have to give them props on having really good secret lairs. If they’re in a high security prison/mental ward, I think I can guess what their answer would be… bitter. If deceased then they wouldn’t have been able to answer anyway. Do they have memorial services for super villains?

Since I couldn’t track one down my next strategy was to become one. If I became one then I would be able to answer my own questions.

The first step was picking a name. Something that would strike fear in the hearts and minds of others and let the superheroes know I am truly a force to be reckoned with.

“Blind Date”? Yes, that’s scary but it doesn’t sound very tough.
I’ve always thought “Centripetal Force” sounded like it should be a super villain name. Besides, being called Centripetal Force would give me tons of options for my world domination or destruction plans. I have a sinking feeling though that by the end of my reign, they’ll just call me “Geek Girl.”

I looked around my apartment and noticed that I already have some of the villain requirements:

An evil pet. I have two cats and a betta fish. Check.

A decent back story. I don’t know if my real back story is good enough. There’s no angst. No revenge. There’s nothing but me having a question that needs answered. I guess I can make one up. “I grew up in a typical dysfunctional household and used film as an escape from my daily life. The more Hollywood crap I viewed, the more cynical and angry I became. Upon taking in my surroundings I noticed the public repeating the lines and actions of various films that had filled me with disgust. I had struggled for years to maintain my goodness and love of film, not to take the mediocre stories out on those around me. Then, after the long awaited Star Wars prequel came out, I left the theater and my soul remain in aisle 3 seat 10.” Backstory… Check.

Dark Clothing. Several black dresses, blouses, and slacks. <-essentials in being a stealthy villain! Check.

Secret Hideout. I placed a sign on my door that reads “Neither Dawn or Centripetal Force/Geek Girl lives here.” Check.

An awesome laboratory. Well, I have some food in my fridge that should have been thrown out weeks ago… I’ll go ahead just put check.

Minions. This one I’ll have to work on a little. I’m a female in a small city full of dorks. I think a trip to a bar around nine on any given night is all it will take. Check.

Weapons of mass destruction. I’m not *quite* there yet. I have a hair dryer, an old crockpot and a computer gathering dust in my closet, I’m sure I can figure something out.

Now the next step is finding a superhero to taunt. Considering I will be in NYC at the end of the week at a Comic-Con… Check.

I don’t *really* have a dark side and I feel bad if during a bout of road frustration I flip someone off… and they actually see… I feel horrible. This might be something I’ll have to work on. I can picture the battle now… I’m standing atop some mountain with lightning striking all around me, the wind is whipping my hair around and I’m calling down to the superhero who has fallen into my trap “At last we meet! Your demise will be the death that becomes legendar… Oh jeeze… are the shackles too tight on your wrists? They look tight, like the circulation is being cut off. You do know that’s not *you* per se. I mean I’m sure in any other circumstances we’d be friends. Granted NOW it’s probably too late… but… God… Lenny… cut him down please and give him some ice and Neosporin. I’m going to call it a night.” I may need to work on that a little more. Unchecked.

I spent a few days working on my laugh, “Mwa ha ha!” and then “Bwa ha ha ha… ha.” (I never know how many ‘ha’s’ I need.) In the movie theater I received quite a few looks during the more comical parts of the film as I test out my maniacal laugh, “Mwa ha ha.. ha ha… ha” When my family came over and father told a joke, my maniacal laugh was met with more arched brows and confused looks… (note to self, save meniacal laughs for evil plan making and battle victories).

I may not quite be a super villain yet or even *a* villain, but the more I tried to become one I have to admit I DO feel a little hurt and jipped that there are so many superhero films and comic books out there. The scale is tilted a little more towards their side and it *is* unfair.

… now to work on my laugh a little more. “Mwa or Mua… Mewa..ha ha..ha?”

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