ArsGeek

It is my belief that there are two kinds of Terminator fans. There are the kind that enjoyed the first three films, and eagerly await the next episode of the Sarah Connor Chronicles, and there are those who love the first two, thought the third one was somewhere between bad and mildly decent, and are not very interested in either the Sarah Connor Chronicles or the upcoming Terminator: Salvation. If you fall into a different category, please correct me if I’m wrong.

Unfortunately I am of the latter ilk. For one, I am the kind of guy who likes my Terminators to carry strong tones of Austrian/governor accent. Terminators who speak in monotone voices who have very clear missions that can only begin once their first objective is achieved: obtain clothes, boots, and a motorcycle. I come from the school of “The Electronic Murderer” (even though I’m not Polish). Picture courtesy of Answers.com.

I am not so much interested in this. “Oh, but it’s got Christian Bale,” you might respond. Watch Harsh Times and then give me that argument. Was Eddie furlong not available? I can’t imagine that the Night of the Demons remake was a higher priority for him. What happened to Nick Stahl? I wasn’t thrilled to have a new John Connor forced upon me then either, but he did an adequate job.

I’m not saying that Bale can’t cut the mustard. Bale’s not the issue. The issue is that they have gotten away from what made The Terminator a classic, and that was…well, Arnold (not to mention Michael Biehn), James Cameron, and the decade of the 80s. I’m not one to totally live in the past. I realize times have changed, but films like Planet Terror prove that the dark, gritty look of the original are still possible to achieve.

Terminator: Salvation is looking more like a Transformers or Matrix knock off (if not a stylized Robot Jox remake) to me based on some of the robot designs. But I guess that’s what you get when you give the co-creator of Fastlane the reigns of one of the most beloved science fiction/action franchises of all time. I’m a little skeptical to say the least.

But to be fair, I can’t judge it too harshly without having seen it. My expectations are set pretty low, so perhaps I’ll be overwhelmingly surprised. Some of my best movie-viewing experiences have come from low expectations.

See some recently leaked video footage at io9.com. I rest my case.